I don't know

I've tried to keep up with this and write what I feel but it has been so hard. I'm really starting to think when my death will come like it might be soon? I don't know. I've tried to write notes to people but I can't do it. I feel so lonely but I smile and laugh everyday I know I can still do that stuff but im still sad at the end of the day. I took in cutting but my scars have healed since the last time. I'm constantly worrying about my weight too. 

I'm tired of talking to people, hell im tired of just writing this. I don't feel like writing maybe another day.