Depression

I have to admit, I have depression. It was hard to admit it but why? I have to say I made fun of commercials that I saw, and then seeing how they were sad and just so tired all the time. I get it, it's not easy when you actually have the disorder. I'm so tired all the time, and sad. I even cry for no reason at all. I actually had to sleep in my parents room because I was scared, and why? I don't know. I was feeling weird well not weird because I'm used to the feeling. But, I can't explain it. People think that its a phase that preteens or teens have in their life but it isnt! It's more than just a "phase" when you're so scared that you have to sleep with your parents even though you had a choice to pick your room or your parents. I'm almost 13! For me this is not normal. I shake as if I'm freezing. 
I'm always sleepy and tired but I have problems sleeping so.? I almost never eat, I never talk to my family, and I lost my sense of excitement too. Shouldn't every kid be excited for Christmas? Well, I'm not well  at least not anymore. I wish I was like any ordinary 12-13 year old. Why did I have to have this happen to me?! I always put a smile when I see family just so they know "I'm ok" But it's all lies. If I tell someone, (which I probably won't) I know that it would just put my family in more issues than what we already are in. I don't know what to do anymore.