'I wish that I could meet Drake. He inspires me, he gets me through everything. Literally. If I'm mad, sad, lonely, happy I get my Ipod and listen to his album Take Care. My favorite songs Marvin's Room, Make Me Proud, Take Care, Doing it Wrong, Headlines, Shot for Me, and HYFR. They're my favorite including Motto. I just love it. He understands that life is hard but you could through it, and he especially has a really good experience with women.
"Now she wanna photo you alreaday know though,you only live once that's the motto, YOLO."  
I love Drake. He knows what life is, and he puts it in his music to show other people. To me his whole thing is like... There's going to be a lot of c**p in your life but it gets better in the end. 
#Y O L O

I love him.

 I'm sure I do. He's so perfect. Just him and everything he is. He has that way of making me smile for no reason. Well he did. We don't talk because I ruined it. But he has this way of me just hearing him laugh and smile and then I have the urge to do the same. He makes my heart beat faster when I say his name. I love what he does to get my attention but he doesn't try anymore. Out of all the guys I talk to, why couldn't he be one of them . Except he wouldn't be just a guy I talk to he'd be the one I want to be with and share everything with. I clearly do love him after two years but apparently he's gotten over it. We had something and I know we did, but I can't get over the fact that we left something unsaid. Something that we had to say to each other before we stopped talking. I guess we'll never know what it meant though. But just in case I'm going to have my head held high for you to notice.
O.L <3
#Heartbroken

My bad?

He's starting to like me I think. I don't like him though, he's a really good friend and he's really helpful and funny. But not my type. I only have one guy right now that goes through my mind and he doesn't talk to me. Out of all the guys that talk to me, why not him? But about this guy that's starting to like me.... he's trying a little bit too hard. I've only known him for 2-3 weeks. Today he asked me "Want me to massage your back?" And note I was wearing an open back shirt and I said "NO! *laugh*" I didn't want to be mean or anything. but it was so Awkward!!! Then my friend asked me " Do you like him?" Me: "No." her: "Come on" Me: "I like him as a friend." And he was right in front of me and he heard our convo! The whole time he didn't talk to me. I really do like him as a friend ONLY. I just don't want to hurt his feelings. and I don't want to lose a friend.

Loving it

My goal for this year was to be less shy and be myself. And I think I'm heading in the right direction. I love it. More people talk to me. I have to say people I didn't even know talk to me now. Like a guy I've mentioned before he said, "You talk a lot more" And before I was that shy girl sitting in the front of the class and people were actually shocked when I talked. One of them even said "She talks!?" It made me laugh. I have to say my life is much easier now. My depression is slowly disappearing but its not gone I always have my moments where I can't take it. Like today a Dj and a drummer came to school. Before I would have been too afraid to even get up to dance. But now, I was the one to start dancing and go near the Dj to dance. It was one of the best moments in my life. One I definitely would remember. I love how guys also talk to me, but also one of them starting to like me.... but thats for another post. I guess I just really needed a little bit of attention to fix my life more. Well I am a girl, what do you expect? 

Positive?

 Why can't life just be perfect? It would definitely make everything easier. Life always has those times when you fall. But half the time you never really fell you just tripped. But when you just completely fall and fell on your face is when you've taken enough. People end their lives because they thought they fell but in reality think of all the people that suffer from cancer or only have a number of days to live, they didn't fall and they're going to keep trying hard to fight it off. So, to some people that think they've fallen, think about everyone..... now who really has it worse? I'm not saying having cancer or anything like that is falling, it isn't, I'm sure you're trying hard to fight it off. To everyone, just because you had something bad happen, don't do anything you'll regret, think everything over and enjoy what you have. 

~ Izzaybel 

Hurting is what I do best

Well, its true. I hurt myself, I discourage myself. I make myself think other people are better than me . I always feel like they're up on top of the mountain and I'm always the one falling down over and over again. I wish I could just fly in the clouds like Anna Blue says in her song.    It shows that I could do anything and I'm on top of the world. Thinking about it makes me smile. 
Pain, of course it hurts. It hurts real bad. Seriously. I wish it never existed. I Know I'm not the only one either too. I just wish I could stop and relax but it is never going to happen. 
My definition of pain? A feeling that no one wants to have, suffering. I would have made it more descriptive but no one would understand. 

Stupid People...

The stupid people in this world. What gives you the right to talk about my family like that? I hate you and I promise you, you'll get what you deserve. I cannot stand you I wish that you just leave my life forever. You were never a friend! You were just using my family. I just wish that you get what you deserve already... Just don't even bother looking at me anymore, because if you do... Trust me we're going to have more problems than there already are. SAying stuff that never happened. Its low, and you're stupid, don't say I am because you are, saying lies and getting other people in trouble. I trusted you I told you my problems and you used me. I hope you're happy now because now I can't trust anyone. You don't know half the things I go through, so shut up and don't look at me and go tell lies to people that care. You're a waste of time, no one will ever like you, leave and shut up. Don't even bother saying sorry later on, because I promise you I will remember this day with all your lies for the rest of my life. I don't care what you say about me but once you say stuff about my family, you're in big trouble with me. Be careful is your warning from me. If you keep it up, watch out. I HATE YOU.! People these days. All they do is say lies.
#Pissed off... 

The Worst Dream

The first time I actually get to dream, it's the worst one. My dream:
I'm in a room that changes into furniture store. With the guy I like and we see the family of our old best friend. We ask them where he is and he points to him. He was laying on a couch dead asleep. I make a squeaky noise and i run to him (my old best friend) and hug him and he wakes up. I don't think he was happy to see me... but he missed the guy i like which was his best friend too. Then we open a door and we enter and the walls close. It looks like a jail cell. Then the guy i like sits on the ground and appears the girl that likes him, then I feel jealousy just pour onto me. I talk to my old best friend i say "I admit I use to like him and we talked a lot and now..." He looks at the guy i like and the girl. I look and I see her flirting and kissing him.
I wake up because I couldn't take seeing it anymore. I always say its just best to forget but I can't! He keeps coming back to my mind. I don't think I could sleep from now on.. If I have another dream like that. </3
#Heartbroken </3

Perfect Day... Week

I love today! To start off, I had an amazing time with my friends, and a guy in my math class said " I love you, you're a true buddy" (: That was what made my day. Haha. But I mean so far this week it's been perfect. I love it! I love how on Tuesday, we played a game and my team looked at me and one of them said "You're the smartest one here" even though I didnt know the answers... But we got 2nd place! On Monday, these guys were surrounding me and one of them kept looking at me... Yeah it was awkward. The worst was when people look at me for awhile I smile... Yeah and he's my friends boyfriend. But I know he was just doing it to be nice. I have to say I love when people give me attention.  I don't really get as much attention so it was nice that it changed up. Hopefully it goes like this from now on... maybe?
#Swagg